tyki tease


it's what i want to be.

four thousand, four hundred and forty four.
Nice to meet you. C:
more about me c:Collapse )

comment to be added. c:
don't worry i don't bite.

unless i'm hungry.
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tiger smirk
Moving on. I'm moving on.

Bad results one after another but I am trying. It just takes some time.
Takes some time for everything to settle in and sort itself out.
There is no rush. 

Being frustrated will only make myself feel scared and stressed and everything will just tie itself into a knot again.
So right now i'm untying this tight knot, slowly but surely.

I will work hard. I will beat you.
I know that I'm capable.

I know that I can do this.

I feel like shit. Honestly. I hate the feeling of someone overtaking you and you just don't have the ability to catch up with them. And even though they might not mean it, it always feels like they're laughing at you or just giving you pity. Am i really that replaceable?

I hate it.

I don't know what i'm good at anymore. Drawing? No. Studies? No. CCAs? No. 
There's always someone better, and i guess that's just how the world works. You're never going to be the best.
I don't know what i should be proud of of myself. Or should i just be satisfied with what i have?
But i don't even know what i have to be satisfied with.

I don't know anymore. I'm tired of trying and trying and ending up dropping further behind.

I just.


tyki tease
Wow i can't believe it's 2012 in about 4 hours on my side.
Goodbye 2011, you were shit. I hate you, but not to such a large extent.
You introduced me to Junior College, weird ass people, some with shit for brains, some i hate the sights and sounds of.
But you've introduced me to some pretty nice individuals too. Some classmates, my soccer team.

It's been hectic with you. The time spent felt like an eternity, and these three hundred and sixty five days felt like another seven hundred and thirty or more.
But at the same time, it also felt like it flew by pretty fast.
O Level's felt like it was five years ago really.
Preparation for A's just makes everyone feel so weary about everything, but oh well.

I guess these are my new year resolutions?
  • Study hard and get good results for A's
  • Exercise more (HAW)
  • Save more money (like $1 per day?)
  • Buy a speedlite for my camera
  • Save the world when it ends
  • Make new friends
Huh. Okay.
Here's to hoping that 2012 will be a better year (and hopefully it doesn't end there, like literally).